Relax. You’re Not Far From God.

I’m better since my last post. https://lifeandliftedhands.com/i-dont-know-how-to-change-and-im-overwhelmed/

I’ve been deliberately watching and logging my time daily. It has caused me to be more productive even though I still wake up late, 9 or sometimes 10am. It has also helped me to reduce my time on social media instead of scrolling all day on it. I still sleep really late so I’m going to regularly put on some rutavala essential oil at the bottom of my feet at least by 10pm and try to get in the shower before then. Hopefully this will get me feeling sleepy at least by midnight. We’ll see how that turns out. I think I should also keep a log about that. *Rutavala is an essential oil that can help when you experience insomnia, racing thoughts, and anxiety. Don’t buy oils from the store. Let me hook you up with premium oils that are the best and the leading oils on the market.

Lately I’ve been having a few pep talks with Jewel. One question she asked was, “How do you know if you’re ‘far’ from God?” What I told her went something like this: (and I may be adding some of the thoughts that came to mind later, after I spoke to her. I rethink alot.)

“Well, if you’re asking that question it already shows that you’re not because you are aware of it, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking.” But I get why she feels that way because I’ve struggled with this question as well. I noticed that I have highs and lows. It’s never steady. When I’m at a high peak it lasts a while but eventually I crash and I’ll be that way for a while too. When I’m in that frame of mind, that’s when anxiety sets in and I question everything and doubt myself and worst of all, I get into the comparing mode. I start to wonder how do other Christians do it? How do they keep themselves “up” ALL the time? But I realize that’s not reality. Nobody is always high on life and full of zeal 100% of the time. I guess being a perfectionist gave me this illusion. I’m really hard on myself and I second guess things, as well as myself, often. So I used my trip to Guam as an example of “feeling far” from God but actually close in spirit. God showed me that and for now it is clear.

I guess I looked at God as someone who would condemn me for every little mess up. This was subconscious and surfaced to my conscience just recently. Even though I knew and now know that He loves me and cares deeply for me there was still something that always told me I wasn’t enough, what I did wasn’t enough. Again this was subconscious.

Anyway going back to my trip to Guam. I didn’t want to go because I was getting anxiety about the flight. Not covid. The flight. I thought about the distance and the length of time that I would be in the plane. Well, I somehow found the part of who I am inside. That child of God. That child of the King. And that gave me power. Power that no fear could conquer even if that plane crashed. And I consider myself a weak Christian. Someone who is always “far” from God. Someone who can’t get it right. But the flight went smoothly and it went fast. 16 total flight hours. And the plane landed on Guam safely. So for someone who is “far” from God, how did I get that power?

Being on Guam, I think I was in the Word only twice and praying was not that often. But I had the thought of God always at the back of my mind. I was conscious of Him and His presence. That said, I became productive. The most productive I’ve been in a long time. I was able to share the Gospel to 3 people and 2 of them obeyed. So even though I felt far from God, I wasn’t in the Word much, and I was only CONSCIOUS of His presence, God showed me that it was the REASON for this trip. He also showed me that there were people who were waiting to hear the Gospel, that they were ready to respond, and that they needed to hear it from me. So for someone who is “far” from God, why was I the one chosen?

God showed me that I don’t need to try so hard because HE’S the one behind the scenes controlling it all. HE’S the one working through me. HE IS the backbone to the mission He has called me to do. HE is the one directing my steps. HE is the one that chooses the timing of everything He had wants me to do in this life. HE is the power in me.

All along I thought I had to make sure I read my Bible everyday. I mean that’s not a bad thing. But that when I do, it should be because I love Him. Because I WANT to spend time with Him. Because He deserves to be glorified and honored. I used to feel guilty if I missed one day of not reading my Bible. Still that’s not a bad thing. I think we need to be conscious of this. We can’t just go through life not ever reading the Word. Otherwise, how will we get closer to God? How will we grow spiritually? How will we know what His will is? How will our minds get fed?

It’s just that now, with the right attitude, I can relax because I am actually NOT “far” from God.

Oh and btw, if you have time check out the things I have for sale in my Ecwid store! Click on “store” on the menu above.

THANKS FOR VISITING!