Started a new plan: “Soul Rest for the Tired and Weary”, by; Kelly Balarie, in the youversion app.
Here’s what I got out of it:
Day 1 – Psalm 23.1
- Where do you feel discontent?
- How can you, right now, verbally praise God for His past faithfulness?
- How can you thank Him for being the ultimate fulfillment of all you really need?
“Where do I feel discontent?”
Overall, I am not. I am content. I think I have always been content for the most part. I think when I went through my 2 depressions it wasn’t because I was discontent but because of hormones. I think the most UNHAPPY (not discontent) I’ve ever been was in my marriage, but not throughout my marriage. Just at some points of my marriage. I think back and the only time I ever felt true discontentment was after we built our house in Ordot. I hated being on Guam even though we had a brand new house. I was itching to move out of Guam so bad! I have no idea why but that’s the only time in my life that I wasn’t happy and content with my life and situation. After realizing this, I THANK YOU LORD!
“How can I verbally praise God right now for His past faithfulness?”
Let me just do it! Lord, I lift your name on high! You are the good Shepherd. You lay down your life for me, your pitiful sheep. I have been the one to stray but you have always brought me back. You have always been there for me. You never left my side and have carried me even to this point of my life. How faithful, how merciful you are! Lord, YOU ARE ALL I NEED! How can I explain it? You’re my rock, my shield, my strength. I turn to you for everything because I know you have the answer. I know you ARE the answer. How can I praise you more? From the depths of my soul is not even enough! Telling you that you are everything is not enough. Lifting up your name is not enough! Even if I give You my all and all of me, would not be enough! Lord, YOU are far greater and far more powerful and far more faithful than I can ever give you credit for, than I could ever praise you for! How can I repay you? Even if I obeyed every law and command of yours it would not be enough. Oh Lord, what a wretched woman I am! Who even am I that you care about me? I AM special to you. I am the apple of your eye but yet I am nothing. I’m just here, a nobody, that has caught your eye. How can I thank you enough? But YOU are enough and MORE than enough!
Day 2 – Psalm 23.2-3 – “God refreshes. God restores.”
And I quote, “Notice that we do not do the work ourselves. No, instead, we respond to His invitation. He does the leading to a quieter place. We make the conscious and decisive decision to follow Him (Wow, this was the sermon this morning!), even at the cost of other things. If we believe He is a Good Shepherd, we believe that even while we are gone, resting and recuperating, He has a good plan for all that we have set down for a time. We trust that we are not losing out or missing out, but that God is taking up our cause as we trust Him – and we rest. (I still have trouble with this). As we trust Him to lead us, He will lead us. In this leading, we discover a new mindset about how to proceed. This happens to those willing to operate from a place of rest. Here, what was draining us is actually unnecessary as God gives a better plan, fresh vision for the future, sourced from the place of rest.” I loved this so much that I had to quote it!
“What makes you feel like you can’t rest? Enter in to rest. Discover the new joy, peace and strategy that He may want to impart to you.”
First, what is true rest? Does one ever truly feel rested? Can someone get to that point? In my mind, that is a hard place to reach because it would require me to not do a thing for the rest of my life, which is impossible. So maybe instead of using the word “rest”, we should use the word “peace”. Ah now THAT I think I can find! But not in myself. Not in what I don’t do, but just in the assurance of God’s presence in my life. Knowing He’s IN MY LIFE, that He has gone as far as giving up His one and only Son for me, gives me peace. Hmmm, so maybe THAT’S my rest.
Day 3 – Psalm 23.4
A few nights ago I thought, “What can I do to make sure Tytus is secure after I’m dead?” Of course, Young Living came up. Sigh… I don’t know what to do anymore :'( I’ve heard that indecision is fear.
Question: How have you walked through dark valleys in your life? How has God protected and led you in the past? Give thanks. Remember His faithfulness.
So, I’ve been through 2 depressions in my life. Now that’s a dark valley. The first time around, I was not a Christian. I felt lost and hopeless. We sought a Surahanu* for answers.
Wikipedia explains it this way (with me inserting the words “male” and “female”) :
“*Suruhånu (male) or Suruhåna (female) are people who function as herbal healers in some Pacific Island cultures. Such people exist on the island of Guam and are a result of Pre-colonial times where people known as makahna were believed to mediate between the physical and spiritual worlds.[1] It comes from the Spanish word cirujano or “surgeon“, here taking the general meaning of healer.”
He (The suruhanu) told us that it was because of a taotaomona.
Wikipedia explains the Taotaomona like this:
“Chamoru taotao, “person/people” and mo’na “precede”, loosely translated as “people before history” or “ancient people”), are spirits of ancient inhabitants believed to protect the mountains and wild places of the Mariana Islands, which include Luta, Saipan, Tinian and Guam, in Micronesia. Belief in Taotao Mo’na is present throughout these islands.”
Their Behavior:
“Despite the modernity of most Chamorros, there is still a healthy respect for Taotao Mo’na. It is thought that if they are offended, they can cause bad influences in a particular location or towards a particular person. Taotao Mo’na are believed to inhabit any secluded natural place on the island particularly in the south of the island. Locals and “traditional” Chamorros claim that one must request permission from the Taotao Mo’na before entering the jungle or taking fruit or wood from it. Another enduring superstition is their dislike of pregnant women. Pregnant Chamorro women are often told to use perfume to mask their scent or to wear their husband’s clothing, and to stay indoors at night to keep taotaomo’na away.”
“Some Taotao Mo’na are described as being headless and malicious if their land is not respected, while some are said to be gentler spirits who aid local witch doctors, called suruhanas or suruhanus. Taotao Mo’na have been known to pinch, bruise, imitate voices and kidnap children for short periods of time. People also claim taotaomo’na can become attached to certain people they like, making them ill – and only a visit to a suruhana can make the spirit go away.”
“The Taotao Mo’na were investigated in a segment of the Syfy television show Destination Truth entitled “Guam Zombies,” where they were (incorrectly) said to appear as zombie-like; however, the Taotao Mo’na are not zombies, but ancestral spirits that are said to live within banyan trees. The trees themselves are said to have moving roots that change direction every night.”
Anyway, when my brother and I went to see the suruhanu, he cracked an egg into a glass of water and somehow that was how he determined that there was taotaomona living behind my apartment so he told us to get all our siblings together and go back to his house. We all did. He made us shower in rooster’s blood and water mixed in a huge tub-sized bowl. We had to pour it on us from head to toe so that we were soaked in it. We couldn’t wash it off for 24 hours. I didn’t believe it was taotaomona but I didn’t know exactly what it was either. I just knew that I was really scared and wanted to do whatever it took to feel better. Looking back, it was post-partum depression because I had just miscarried a baby. My oldest sister didn’t understand why it hit me so hard. She had miscarried at one time also and it didn’t affect her like it did me. Well, I guess it was hormones too. When I got depressed as a Christian, I went to see a psychiatrist. I really felt the need to. I just couldn’t shake off the anxiety and was crying all the time. Suddenly I was afraid to drive, be alone, get my teeth cleaned, all the simple things that never bothered me before. I walked a lot and spent everyday outside in the carport laying on a cot, reading my Bible or taking a nap. I ate my breakfast there too, and remember appreciating a new day, the dew on the grass, the smell of morning air. At that time I had a dog named Roman who was always near me and would “check on me”. I miss that dog so much! He always cheered me up and made me smile. Anyway, I did get on medication after fighting it for so long. The doctor wanted me to get on it right away because my thoughts were so dark. The sessions with the doctor were deep and I cried so much, probably at every single one. BUT GOD! BUT GOD – was and is ever so faithful! I knew he was there and eventually brought me out of the pit. Although it was, or seemed like, it was a very long process.
Day 4 – Psalm 23.5 – “Rest for the tired and weary”
This lesson hit me hard because I see myself in it; the part where the writer says:
“If I take some time to rest I feel like I’m going to lose out, miss out, or that things won’t turn out well. Many of us don’t realize it but we set out to create our own blessing. We SAY it was God, as we talk to others, but we know what we put in and how hard we worked. Because we didn’t know rest, we never really got to know God as the one who REALLY blesses us.”
-From ”Soul rest for the tired and weary” plan, youversion app
This is why I have a problem with setting goals for myself and pursuing them. To me a goal is supposed to consume you; so if does, where’s the room for God? Also, the passage in Matthew 6.24, regarding money. You can’t serve 2 masters. Either you love one and hate the other. It can’t be both. So when people say you have to work hard to be successful, I have a problem with it. It is a huge struggle for me! To me, if I’m going to work very hard for anything, it better be for God and my salvation because I’ve been bought with a price and when I die, I will face him so I want to hear from him that I was a “good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25.23), while on earth. Some are doing some really good deeds but they don’t realize that it is in vain (Matthew 7.21-23). I don’t want to fall into that category. I truly believe the verse: Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you (Matthew 6.33), ALL OF IT! I’m so grateful that I don’t have a work mentality! I used to think of myself as a loser because I never had a career and the reason for that is because my mom died when I was 5 and I never knew her and I really think she didn’t know me. She was a career woman and I was at the babysitter. I do remember THAT. But because of that, I vowed that I was going to raise my own kids and so I set out to do that and God blessed us all those years. If he got me through all those years, He can get me through all the rest of my days. I spent my life during those early years homeschooling (which was another blessing and another answer to my prayers of me raising my own kids) teaching them about God so that was another amazing blessing because now that they are adults, I see God in them, I see them pursuing God and we have delightful conversations about our God! So there is the FRUIT of my seeking God first! I have to thank God because he paired me with a very good teacher who never withheld the truth to me even when it hurt or made me mad. Those teachings from the scriptures has stuck in my mind all these years. I just hope to be a great teacher of the Scriptures as well like she was to me – my good friend, Diana, who has already gone to be with God and even though I am NOT God, I believe she is with him; it’s not just a hope because she was a huge and great example of how to rest in God. She searched the Scriptures all day long, studying on her own. She was the perfect example of a “walking Bible”. I have only ever met 2 other people in my whole life that could quote scripture like she could. I used to be better at remembering and quoting scripture but I lost it when we attended a denominational church. I was not getting fed and became very worldly. This is what I get! I want to be a scholar of God’s Word. I think all Christians should be! Shame on us when other people are more knowledgeable than we are!
Day 5 – Psalm 23.6
From the writer I quote:
Rest always keeps us on God’s best path, whereas striving strays us toward our own. In rest, we learn to follow the Prince of Peace, rather than the prince of this world, who seeks to confuse us with lesser callings, exploits, and hard work that will only leave us burned out and exhausted. In God’s rest, we see clearly what our heart really wants, needs, and desires. To dwell in the presence of the Lord is to understand his goodness and unfailing love. It is to find our ultimate security in Christ. Even more, his presence becomes a tangible outflow from all we think, do, and say. We are renewed in Him – not conformed to the world – and because of this we are transformed. Above all, He is our greatest pursuit and the sum of all our real desires. Rest takes us to places of ultimate peace.”
– From the plan, “Soul Rest for the Tired and Weary, on the YouVersion Bible app
What sort of rest is God calling you into? What would this practically look like in your life? The kind of rest God is calling me to is, to just slow down. Breathe. Rest in Him. Spend time in the Word. Listen to what He’s saying. The practical side of this would be to wake up early so that it’s quiet and calm. It means to give up social media for most of my day at least, and to spend a certain amount of time on it if I do wish to go on. In other words, don’t make it my life. Prayer is another thing. There’s so much to pray about and so many people to pray for. The Bible teaches that we are to pray at all times, with all kinds of prayer requests so throughout my day sometimes I will pray a random prayer as I’m at work, in the car, cleaning, etc. But I believe God also wants us to be still sometimes, when we pray. Being still while we pray really gives the feeling of connection with God. It helps us revere Him, as we concentrate on who He is. It helps us realize how much we need him and how wretched we are, as human beings. It keeps us in our place so that we can trust God to do what his will is instead of jumping on a decision and getting in his way. It gives us clarity and peace and increases our trust in Him. Did you know that you CAN trust God? We may not want to, BUT WE CAN!
And since we can, would you put your faith in Him also? Would you trust and obey the Gospel? It’s free and available to anyone and everyone, no matter what your background or way of life. No matter how lost you’ve been. No matter how much you’ve sinned. Go to Him. Let Him save you. Let Him change you from the inside out. Let Him have his way with you so that your life can be better and beautiful because He walks with you.
Click on the link below. It will show you how to become a Christian. Then make sure to contact me so that we can study. Or I can connect you with links to help you grow in your Christian walk. You’re going to need it. There’s no need to do this alone. As Christians, we all need each other for encouragement. Happy searching!
Thx!
You’re welcome!