Today someone asked me how long I’ve been doing Young Living and I don’t know why but the word LOSER came to mind. This person didn’t even mean it that way but they don’t see what I go through every day trying to promote my business. And. I. just. cried. I haven’t been doing this business that long but I want it so bad to be a success. For once in my life I want to accomplish something just for ME. Sometimes and really most times I feel like this is selfish. I contemplate the right and wrong about having dreams and pursuing it. It’s not the dream, it’s the going after it. The chasing. We are told that if we really want it we have to go after it, do whatever it takes. Even if we get overwhelmed. Even if we stay up late at night trying to get that one thing accomplished. Even if it makes us cry, beats us down, breaks us. As long as we win!
But what if we relied on GOD to bring everything to us? There’s a saying, “God helps those who help themselves.” So we go after it even if it kills us. I don’t agree with this. Call me naive but to me, that means that we don’t trust God and his timing. We go after it, we accomplish it, then there’s really no more giving glory to God. I hate when people say that like it’s a cliche. It’s not. God is everything even beyond our own imagination. HE CAN DO ANYTHING! The thing is do we believe him? Do we trust him? Most of us think we do. Especially when we do reach our goals. But what do we really think, deep down inside? I’m ashamed to say that for myself, I have felt proud. And I have taken the credit. But if I wait on Him, and I realize my dreams all coming true, THEN He gets the glory. He gets the praise. Have you ever prayed for something and seen it come to fruition? How did you feel? For me, it was unbelievable! Like for real, God? You actually heard my prayer? It’s almost like we didn’t expect him to pull through. This is how I feel about dreams and goals. The Bible teaches that IF we “seek him first all these things will be added unto you.” Matthew 6.33 It also teaches that those who go after money (riches) fall into temptation and snares. Some have wandered from the truth and have pierced themselves with many sorrows. 1 Timothy 6.9-11 All over the book of Ecclesiastes Solomon says that, “it’s all meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” So the only thing we should be going after, is Him.
Recently I’ve been really working on myself. My own personal emotions. You know they say that if you don’t process the traumas from your past you can’t move forward. This is another thing I struggle with. Paul says in Philippians 3.13-14, “to forget what is behind and press on to what is ahead.” I mean everyone has damage. Everyone has experienced some kind of trauma. That’s life. Our lives aren’t perfect. Just some people have a deeper pain than others, more trauma than others. If we were damaged by our parents well, they weren’t perfect either. They were human too.
When I was seeing a shrink (a psychologist) she started asking questions about my upbringing and then proceeded to TELL me what I’m feeling. I was thrown off completely. I was like who the hell are you to tell me that when I completely did NOT feel those things! I never went back. And I still don’t feel those feelings she talked about. I was supposed to process my past, because I was “blocked.” Someone tell me what I am not getting?! What am I not understanding about this?! I also noticed that a lot of them who believe in this are tarot readers, psychic, mediums and they are smooth-talkers. I don’t mess with them because I am a Christian. God doesn’t want us to be involved in any way, shape or form with them. So, maybe I am understanding more than I thought!
I grew up without my parents. My mom took her life. I saw the paramedics wheel her out on the stretcher. I saw the blood on the sheets, it draping her body from head to toe. That’s traumatic, especially for a 5 year old but I don’t hate her, nor did I ever! Sure I didn’t like that she was a working mom, that she had no time for me, that she put me with a babysitter, but I just grew up determined to not let that be ME! So in actuality, I should be grateful instead of trying to find some hate. When I went through a depression, it was then that I understood her and why she did what she did. But out of that came compassion and a sadness because she didn’t get the help that she needed. And guess what, before she died, she sought out a psychic! Yikes!
After she died, my dad moved us in to his mother’s house. After some time, about 3 or so years, he left us. Slowly we stopped seeing him. He would drop by whenever he felt like it. I was denied things, like ballet, hula, jazz because he didn’t “have the money” even though we would see his car parked at a bar every night. There was a time when I was super angry at him! So I wrote him a letter, read it aloud to myself, then tucked it away in a journal. Forgetting that it was there, I came across it when I went back into that journal sometime. I remember writing it. I didn’t FEEL any of the things I wrote. I remember having to force myself to find something wrong. And it was THEN, that I realized what he did. It was messed up! But that’s not for me to judge. Instead, I needed to forgive him. If we stop and think about all the pain that was caused us, forgiveness is the key to “process” EVERYTHING! And as a kid, I didn’t have any ill feelings toward him. I wasn’t saying to myself, “oh, look at my dad, he’s a drunk, he doesn’t care about me, he’s denying me of my dreams, etc.” No, that never crossed my mind so why do I have to bring it up as an adult and “process” it so that I can move forward, when I’m already moving forward?! Why not instead, when bad thoughts come up, we say, “I FORGIVE YOU!” “I know you weren’t perfect!” “I know you had damage of your own!” “I know you tried your best!”
All this because I was asked, “How long have you been doing Young Living?” LOL
I have to try again.
I have to try to reach you.
I have to preach the gospel to you.
This is my duty as a Christian.
But not only a duty, it is something I GET TO DO.
You see, I am an Ambassador of Jesus Christ.
And it is commanded for me to bring him out into the world.
To let everyone know what he did for YOU.
I know you already know him.
I know you’ve already heard of him.
I know you believe in him.
But I still have to tell you because it’s the greatest news you will ever hear in your life!
Jesus loves YOU.
The REAL YOU that no one sees or knows about.
Jesus cares about YOU.
He cares about all the things you worry about; your feelings, your desires, your needs.
Jesus is waiting for you to respond this Good News.
Right here.
Right now.
Just the way you are.
You are not too far gone.
You are not too sinful.
You are not the worst sinner in the world.
And it’s not too late to respond.
Go here to see how: https://lifeandliftedhands.com/the-plan-of-salvation/
Oh and btw, if you have time check out the things I have for sale in my Ecwid store! Click on “store” on the menu above.
THANKS FOR VISITING!
I really felt your pain.😔 You felt more abandoned with Pep than with Mama. Whereas, I felt Mama abandoned us. But, I did understand later on in life when I was going through hardship and heart ache that one could be so down and out that you just want to die. I understood Mama was in so much pain, but could not tell or say it to anyone, but she gave a lot of hints and we didn’t notice. I remember Annie Uncle Nae came to Guam for a visit, and she & Tim came to see her. I served them some juice to drink, and they talked awhile, then Annie & Tim left. After they left, Mama started saying to me, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Before I could talk a lot and laugh but now I cannot. I go back to that day, and that must’ve been the beginning of her depression and I didn’t know any better. She was telling me she was not herself. I think it took me a long long time to process her death, and to this day, I still don’t understand. But I learned to let it go and forgive her. As Jesus said, Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing, I say that to Mama. No one is in their right mind when they take their own life. That is one thing I know will never cross my mind because I say I have to be strong, and that is is devil talking. I guess Mama going that way makes me never want to go that way.😔 Stay strong my sister. Strength is in you just because of what we went through. The song is right, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!!
Bible verse Forgive or God would not forgive you Matthew 6:15. “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins”. I learned to let go, but I too had feelings of abandonment (our Mom) & resentment (our Dad) & also had to process that throughout my Lifetime. I loved them anyway & know everyone has a dark side in their lives (which they are accountable for). I just always focus on their “good” & that’s why I always say “for the good times” – hold on to the good memories we do have of them & not to think 💭 about the bad. That’s what Jesus would want us to do. It’s the only way I had “let go”. It is the right thing to do & “letting go” is in Forgiveness. – God’s Will of Forgiveness & Love.
Another thing I wanted to add: as spiritual Christians, we should think Spiritual as to have the mind of Christ John 1:12-13 (Children of God), no longer in the fleshly, immoral or worldly fashion, but with the spirit of what God & Jesus ways are – all good, right, holy & true Spirituality. That’s what helped me got through with this.
Another thing I wanted to add: as spiritual Christians, we should think Spiritual as to have the mind of Christ John 1:12-13 (Children of God), no longer in the fleshly, immoral or worldly fashion, but with the spirit of what God & Jesus ways are – all good, right, holy & true Spirituality. That’s what helped me get through.